If I know one thing about parenting these days, it's that I really don't know anything about parenting. I have general concepts and things I try to do to be a good mother, but I'm just taking it one day at a time. Praying I don't mess my kid up. This is what you should keep in mind while reading my thoughts on potty training. I don't think there's a right or wrong way. It's just what we did. Maybe it will be helpful to you in your 'journey', maybe not. Or you can just laugh at my mistakes if you've trained numerous children already.
My whole approach to potty training was to get my child interested in using the potty as early as possible. People talk about waiting until their kids show signs of readiness. While I didn't try to push the issue too hard, I definitely didn't wait until he was begging to go to the potty. But I'm not one of those elimination communication people either. I thought about it... and I kinda sorta tried it... We sat him on his little potty for the first time when he was six months old. I'm not sure what my thought process was exactly, but I remember wanting to be sure my child wasn't scared of the potty. Gotta introduce it as soon as possible. A few tries of that and I decided I was up for waiting at least until he could walk to the potty by himself.
We took it up again a couple months before he turned two (he had been walking for nine months or so, but it was around the time that he showed some interest).
We used the little Baby Bjorn potty as well as sitting him directly on the big potty so he would be able to use either one. The little potty was most comfortable for him, but we only bought one little potty and weren't planning on moving it all around the house. Nor did I want to have to carry around a little potty seat adapter to public restrooms. Teaching flexibility is as important as the actual potty training.
We got as far as him knowing what to do on the potty and being able to get something to happen by us making psss-ing or grunting noises at him to show him what to do. He gradually learned how to gain some control. I forget when he started consistently going poop in the potty - but pretty quickly we were able to catch him starting to poop and put him on the potty to finish. I do remember the last time he did a full on poop in his pull-up without letting us know he needed to go.
It was about a month after he turned two.
Scott, my brother-in-law, and my cousin went backpacking and I drove out to the pick-up point to get them a couple days after I had dropped them off at the trail-head. I took Xavier with me and he napped most of the way. We picked up the guys, Xavier woke up, and we were less than 5 miles from home when I smelled something. Knowing Xavier was only wearing a pull-up, and those aren't made to hold much, I opted for damage control for the car seat and decided to stop and change him into a new diaper. We weren't near a public restroom so a parking lot would have to suffice. We got him out of the seat and I was relieved that the car seat was still clean. But that's about as good as the story got. Most people would probably have just thrown the pants away, but I'm way too practical (*cheap*) to do that. Poor kid. Poor guys in the back seat. Xavier was a little horrified and I have a feeling it placed a keen desire in his heart to not let it happen again.
The last and longest struggle was to get him to keep a pull-up dry. If I put him on the potty to try to go, he would usually pee what was available, but sometimes he had already gone a little in the pull-up before that. We would go for a few days all dry, but it wouldn't stay consistent. We tried a sticker chart and M&M rewards, but neither resulted in being fully trained. I tried to put him in underwear a few times when we stayed home, but ended up cleaning up after him more often than I saw any progress toward it motivating him to keep dry. I would usually revert back to a pull-up once there had been an accident. Maybe he would have learned sooner if I had been more diligent. Or maybe he wasn't quite ready. This went on for several months. A few weeks ago my husband recommended I go back to the underwear technique and try it again. Something clicked after getting wet a few times and he's now pull-up free! I carry around extra clothes and make sure he's emptied out before we go anywhere, but it's been about a month of successful underwear wearing now. I'm feeling pretty confident in his ability to stay dry. I realize there could be a relapse or accident anytime, but for now, we'll call it a success at two and a half. I still put a diaper on him at night, but most nights that's dry in the morning too. We've had one accident during a nap.
Again, not trying to brag, just excited that I don't have to buy diapers and that this life lesson seems to be mostly learned. I know there are some who train earlier and some who wait until three years old and train in a day. I'm not sure which method I'll take with any future children, but I kind of like starting earlier even if it takes a little longer. I feel like we saved quite a few diapers in the process of staying mostly dry for the past six months. Not having to clean up poop from a diaper for the last six months has been super great. Of course I had the time to do it since I stay home with him. Some don't have this option, so it makes the process different. Or there's a second or third child in the mix and there's not enough time to wait around and see what their toddler is, or is not going to do on the potty.
I guess I just want to encourage parents not to be scared to try early. If it's not working, pick up again later. But don't stress. It's like people say about most stages our kids go through, "you don't see any college students still ... wearing a diaper". I mean, don't TRY to set your kid up to fail, but there are definitely worse parents out there - and they raised children who are managing their bodily functions just fine (most of the time).
I'm always curious to hear stories from other moms and glean any helpful information I can for next time. I'm reading an interesting book called "How Eskimos Keep their Babies Warm - And Other Adventures in Parenting". It has a whole chapter on how the Chinese potty train their kids. People raise kids a little differently all over the world. They all grow up and function in society. Let's not stress so much about what the child psychology books say. It's nice to find helpful suggestions for when we're frustrated or unsure of what to do, but a mother's intuition is valuable too.
We took it up again a couple months before he turned two (he had been walking for nine months or so, but it was around the time that he showed some interest).
We got as far as him knowing what to do on the potty and being able to get something to happen by us making psss-ing or grunting noises at him to show him what to do. He gradually learned how to gain some control. I forget when he started consistently going poop in the potty - but pretty quickly we were able to catch him starting to poop and put him on the potty to finish. I do remember the last time he did a full on poop in his pull-up without letting us know he needed to go.
It was about a month after he turned two.
Scott, my brother-in-law, and my cousin went backpacking and I drove out to the pick-up point to get them a couple days after I had dropped them off at the trail-head. I took Xavier with me and he napped most of the way. We picked up the guys, Xavier woke up, and we were less than 5 miles from home when I smelled something. Knowing Xavier was only wearing a pull-up, and those aren't made to hold much, I opted for damage control for the car seat and decided to stop and change him into a new diaper. We weren't near a public restroom so a parking lot would have to suffice. We got him out of the seat and I was relieved that the car seat was still clean. But that's about as good as the story got. Most people would probably have just thrown the pants away, but I'm way too practical (*cheap*) to do that. Poor kid. Poor guys in the back seat. Xavier was a little horrified and I have a feeling it placed a keen desire in his heart to not let it happen again.
The last and longest struggle was to get him to keep a pull-up dry. If I put him on the potty to try to go, he would usually pee what was available, but sometimes he had already gone a little in the pull-up before that. We would go for a few days all dry, but it wouldn't stay consistent. We tried a sticker chart and M&M rewards, but neither resulted in being fully trained. I tried to put him in underwear a few times when we stayed home, but ended up cleaning up after him more often than I saw any progress toward it motivating him to keep dry. I would usually revert back to a pull-up once there had been an accident. Maybe he would have learned sooner if I had been more diligent. Or maybe he wasn't quite ready. This went on for several months. A few weeks ago my husband recommended I go back to the underwear technique and try it again. Something clicked after getting wet a few times and he's now pull-up free! I carry around extra clothes and make sure he's emptied out before we go anywhere, but it's been about a month of successful underwear wearing now. I'm feeling pretty confident in his ability to stay dry. I realize there could be a relapse or accident anytime, but for now, we'll call it a success at two and a half. I still put a diaper on him at night, but most nights that's dry in the morning too. We've had one accident during a nap.
Again, not trying to brag, just excited that I don't have to buy diapers and that this life lesson seems to be mostly learned. I know there are some who train earlier and some who wait until three years old and train in a day. I'm not sure which method I'll take with any future children, but I kind of like starting earlier even if it takes a little longer. I feel like we saved quite a few diapers in the process of staying mostly dry for the past six months. Not having to clean up poop from a diaper for the last six months has been super great. Of course I had the time to do it since I stay home with him. Some don't have this option, so it makes the process different. Or there's a second or third child in the mix and there's not enough time to wait around and see what their toddler is, or is not going to do on the potty.
I guess I just want to encourage parents not to be scared to try early. If it's not working, pick up again later. But don't stress. It's like people say about most stages our kids go through, "you don't see any college students still ... wearing a diaper". I mean, don't TRY to set your kid up to fail, but there are definitely worse parents out there - and they raised children who are managing their bodily functions just fine (most of the time).
I'm always curious to hear stories from other moms and glean any helpful information I can for next time. I'm reading an interesting book called "How Eskimos Keep their Babies Warm - And Other Adventures in Parenting". It has a whole chapter on how the Chinese potty train their kids. People raise kids a little differently all over the world. They all grow up and function in society. Let's not stress so much about what the child psychology books say. It's nice to find helpful suggestions for when we're frustrated or unsure of what to do, but a mother's intuition is valuable too.
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